This is becoming something of a mantra for me – in this world of ours where it seems that we become more-and-more buried in our own needs and thoughtful consideration for others becomes something that we do not think very much about, if we take the time and effort to look around us, we will notice that our lives are not better as a result.  As human beings, we are not islands, we do not and cannot exist without others, we need other people in order for us to live, whether it’s the folks who grow the food that we eat, or bring it to the stores where we shop, and so on.

And, surely, if the life experience and level of happiness of these folks improved, wouldn’t our own be better?  It would be very beneficial for us if we better-understood that our own causes are improved when that of others improved, too.  You know – the ripple-effect.

And doing good doesn’t require a monumental effort – it’s the little things that add up to making the big picture a work of art. You know – a smile usually generates the same in those who witness it.  And it’s stuff like this that tells me that it is so important to spend some of our time thinking about these little things and getting into the habit of thinking ‘how can I improve the next person’s experience?’ as we go about our daily lives.  I don’t mean by becoming the next Mother Theresa (although to have that level of good and goodwill within us wouldn’t hurt a bit), but by thinking about and doing the little things that, in reality, are so easy to do (if we can bring ourselves to think about it) that will make the next person’s life just that tiny bit better and, with lots of tiny bits, the big picture (our lives as a whole) is improved.

One of the things that so many humans find just about the most difficult thing to do, is to put ourselves in the shoes of another.  We do things without thinking much about what our actions, or lack thereof, will mean to the next person.  I’ll let you think about examples, and there are tons of them, of instances where we would like to find a place, the kitchen, the bathroom, in a good, clean state for us to use but we sometimes then do not leave it in the state in which we would like to find it after someone else has used it.

So, if we’re working to make good habits become the norm in our lives, things we do as a matter-of-course, these become easier-and-easier for us to do and the world is just that little bit better off and the big picture begins to look like a masterpiece.

Zed

What do we hold dear in life?  How do we define the core of our belief system?  I think that this is determined by what or who we worship and, by worship, I mean the values that we hold dearest and live by, not lip-service to a remote idol.

Let’s talk a little about worship – what is it?  What or who do we worship? This is, probably, the most divisive and controversial subject that tortures mankind. And, I believe that, if mankind was able to achieve consensus on this subject, this ‘third rock from the sun’ would, indeed, be a much happier and peaceful place for the vast majority of its inhabitants.  But consensus will elude us for as long as we believe that the human mind is our source of thought and action.

Worship does not have to have, indeed, should not have, a religious connotation.  Religion is a man-created thing and, while the idea of creating a set of rules to live by has merit, the human mind, being a subjective thing, what it creates has to be flawed.  Its fundamental subjectivity (the ‘Me Principle’) ensures that the rules set by one group will not achieve significant coincidence with the rules set by another.

I think, too, that the human mind’s need to worship a being of some description, also ensures its failure.  To worship a set of ideas is not, for most people, it seems, a tangible, realistic thing. For example, most of the Christian religions seem to worship the messenger, Jesus, rather than the message.  The idea of ‘having that mind that was also in Christ Jesus’ gets lost.  Despite his clear direction – (and I paraphrase) ‘what you see me do, you can do also’, the human mind sees itself incapable of emulating the man with the purist ideas that ever trod the globe.

No where did this perfect man ever suggest that we should form groups and create a set of rules for other humans to follow.  His direction was for us to love good supremely, as he did.  And this good has become known as God, which brings us to the question – ‘Who-and-what is God”? And there are so many different, subjective (the human mind, again) ideas as to the answer. Some think that God is waiting to usher you ‘up-or-down’, depending on your ‘performance’.  Some think that heaven is a locality, presided over by a long-haired, bearded figure in long white robes.  Some think that God is ‘a living man’.  Some think that God directs them to commit the most heinous acts against fellow humans.  And, so on.

But, how about this – doesn’t it make more sense to think of God, not as an anthropomorphic figure, somewhere ‘out there’ but, rather, as the ever-present principle of all good, the infinite power of infinite love and all that is good which, by definition, includes being selfless? Seems to me, if mankind worshipped this idea of God, if mankind truly worshipped love and good (and true worship means ‘being-and-doing’ rather than just ‘saying’), then the ‘Me Principle’ would have no place and no presence in our thought and experience.

Jesus’ example went a lot deeper than just being loving and kind.  Weren’t his healings a beautiful affirmation of the purity of his thought?  He showed us the goodness that we can achieve, if we follow his direction.  And we can do it.  As he said.  What a beautiful thought and goal.

Zed

One of the things for which I am eternally grateful is the fact that my mom and dad, especially mom, who was very insistent on this subject, schooled us boys (I have two brothers) in etiquette, such as, opening doors for one’s elders and for women, walking on the outside of one’s female companion when walking along the roadway or sidewalk, giving one’s seat on the bus or train to a lady or older person, and so on.  She taught us to do this with respect and without being patronizing, to know and understand that this is the right thing to do, and to enjoy doing it.

This brings me to today’s thought about ‘the’ wife – it may have been the case in the very primitive past, when women were treated as possessions, as much as a man’s cattle or pets were possessions – the cow, the dog, the cat, the wife, often in that sequence of significance. How crazy is this??!! Using the term ‘the wife’, sounds so disrespectful, so dismissive. And so lacking in caring thought. Haven’t we moved on from these truly out-of-date ideas?

Using the term ‘my wife’ could be interpreted as being possessive but, the way I see it, it implies the deep, individual, loving characteristics of a strong, respectful relationship and the pride and love one feels for one’s partner.

Contrary to the approach of many people, both within the third and first world, women and men are equal participants in life and equal participants in relationships. I shall never understand the attitude that treats women as being secondary to men. This is nonsense and the consequences can only be negative. And often catastrophic.

Don’t we all want our life partner to have our backs?  Disrespectful attitude, which is a symptom of a lack of true love (and thought), will not achieve this. Most of us (I’m sure) understand the priceless value of a mutually respectful, loving relationship. What a wonderful goal and endeavor.

Zed

What defines happiness for us? While having ‘enough’ is a good thing, it can’t be material supply alone – we all see so many examples of folks who have more than ‘enough’ and yet are still subject to any of the woes of this human experience. Happiness is not, cannot be, selfish. In order to experience happiness, to know the difference, it has to be shared with others.

So, when we share a selfless smile or small deed (holding a door open for the next person, allowing someone in need to go ahead of oneself in the grocery store lineup, etc), we are sharing happiness! These ‘baby steps’, although small, have a much bigger impact than we realize. They are part of the collective daily experience that, when we take a number of these steps in any given day, when we share these little gems of human kindness, we are adding to our own and other people’s store of happiness. The unseen benefits of this are enormous for all and especially for someone who may be struggling with challenging issues within their own lives.

While kindness should be freely given, the other side of this coin is, of course, do we recognize and appreciate the acts of kindness of others? We can only do this when we are looking outward in a selfless manner.  It’s so important to be gracious and grateful when we receive thoughtful kindness from others.  Recognition of the kindness of others tends to have a snowball effect and isn’t that a nice image – this huge snowball of kindness, gathering and distributing good on its way!

So smile and do good – your daily ‘baby steps’ of kindness, are a wonderful reward for both the giver and receiver.

Zed